By: My Life in Pieces: Assembly Required.
I never understood what the big deal was about finding “balance.” Before I had kids, I had all the answers. I never quite understood what the issue was: just focus on what you love. Do what makes you happy, right? Well, then kids come along and it’s all out the window. There’s the day to day things like feeding the kids, keeping the house from burning down, and generally keeping 2 kids under 4 happy and busy at all times. Then you throw in work, making time for your significant other, and God forbid, a little time for yourself.
I’ve realized that I’m all too busy, all the time. I need to focus on what I have in front of me. All we really have is right now, and I’m realizing more and more that having it all, may mean just being present in the moment you’re in. I hate that I keep catching myself checking my phone when my 4 year old is trying to talk to me. When I try and sit and just be with my kids, all I am thinking about is my never-ending TO DO list. I’m just sick of the constant dialogue in my own head about what I must get done and how I beat myself up over the things that didn’t get crossed off the list for the day.
Certainly no one else has ever felt like this, right?! So what the hell am I doing? I realize that I’m spending far too much time trying to “have it all” (and keep it all well scheduled while I’m at it). I’ve been too busy trying to schedule my life that I’m forgetting to be in the moment and just live it. As women, we do it all and try to hold onto all of it so tightly while we do so. I’m realizing I need to let a little go. I need to focus on what matters.
My kids won’t be kids forever, and I don’t want to look back and realize that I wasn’t present, that I don’t remember the little moments because I was too busy trying to plan the next day. I won’t stop trying to have it all, but I need to look at what this concept means a little bit differently. I need to realize that having my family and my health is kind of having it all. I need to focus on what is in front of my face. I need to count my blessings a little more often, and the hours of the day a little less. Maybe, just maybe, realizing and appreciating what we do have, is having it all.